Bunnyless​/​Relapse

by A Shiba

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1.
Do you wonder why people walk all over you? It's because you're too naive for your own good You can try all you want but you'll never carry it through When it implies trusting people, which you can't do... Oh, I know, you can't help those who don't ask, for it first, but it hurts to watch you, struggle, over something so simple (even) I could do - Do you love yourself the way that your parents do? And if they don't, well, at least the way they should. They should've never projected their failures onto you, They had no idea how bad it'd fuck you up. Bet you, never, thought you could hurt another And you'd ignore those fantasies In which you get your revenge, or take it out on someone innocent Who deserves better Everybody's got something dark within them It's a cursed place called "hell"... Will you be Cain? Or will you be Abel? ... to live with yourself
2.
I won't tell you, if you don't tell me 'bout a relationship we're in, apart It'd only serve, to make us feel worse than necessary, bunny I still think about the day you told me I destroyed you, so you'd destroy me in return I was at work when I cried in front of a bustling crowd of patrons, but luckily, nobody noticed me - Anytime you told me about People you've been with before, at all I know we weren't together yet, but it still hurt to hear about, from you I still think about the time You told me I was too rational to be spiritual You were so right, it hurt And it felt worse to be compared to others Do you remember The time I said "I wish I had amnesia, so I could meet you again"?
3.
I miss a bunny and relapse to where I need a little solace (sometimes) I miss that rabbit, she was addicted to life and all of it's things (instrumental) I miss that rabbit, jumped over the moon and disappeared forever I miss that bunny, 'got too close and now she's gone forever A relationship built on anything but the truth is doomed heed this, listen... please But if I love her, and I know I do I should let her be free (And the same... for me) (I miss you, sometimes)
4.
A year or two in the making... (or three... just about) In eight years, you'll be four years older (than me...) I'm SO alone! [explosive!] When you're not around to talk to Some days there's things I really wanna say to you... (or show you...) But I can't... so I won't I'm in love... with a girl Sometimes it feels like I'm missing someone important to my life Then I realize It's You, it's Always You and I try and push it out of my mind, but... You're ON my mind! [explosive!] You're all the time... I wish you were mine, and/or I wish I was yours
5.
Selah 05:45
Constantly listening to depressing music All the anxiety pills make me feel sick Feel like I've never been happy before, nor will I be again Days go by... no sign of an end - Wish I could be murdered So I wouldn't have to do it myself My friends will feel anger! Instead of remorse and regret... When I starve myself to death I feel the pain, I deserve it When I think about the future Life's not worth it (I don't think I'm Ever gonna eat again) Wishin' I never met you so you wouldn't be sad When I pass Wishin you outta my life Not from dislike, but 'cause I love you a lot And if we don't work out, that really scares me... just the thought (and now that you're gone well...) - I'm constantly on the verge of another Panic attack Having to plan my schedule Based around that I want change, but I fear it I want everything the same, but I hate it! And now you're gone, oh God... Now you've gone. - Voy a sentir mejor, en Selah Voy a sentir bien, cuando pasara Sentire mejor, en Selah Yo, sentire mejor, cuando pasara - Invite me to your sister's wedding And your dad's funeral
6.
Solace 05:25
Feel so tired every night Feel inadequate at the sight of other's success Nothing gives me comfort anymore, it seems, I'll, stay in my room and I'll lock the door, again... I dunno what to do anymore at all, these days! Seems like everything I've done so far's a mistake Am I really living? Or am I here just to appease others? Why am I even trying anymore. There's nothing left. Another week like this, and I think that I'll go insane! Insane!! Insane... (instrumental) Don't know when but there's gonna be a day Sometime in the future when I'm gonna pass away Might be tomorrow, or in a few decades All I know's that there's gonna be a day I can't help but think back, to my cursed childhood And all the time's I'd given up and taken comfort in The pity the attention and the inverse of pride And I don't like myself... [a mantra] I regret so much And I will regret so much There is nothing left and there will be nothing left for me The feeling that all feeling never mattered at all haunts me each day

about

A belated EP by A Shiba

Dedicated to, and Inspired by, the illustrious
Jacqueline "Jacquie" B.H.. 'Love you, so much...

This was written in the mid-summer of 2015 on-and-off, mostly off, into early 2019
Recording took place during summer into autumn 2019. Mixing, mastering, cover art finalizing in late 2019.

THANKS: -fb/mu/ for the advice on new equipment
- Thanks to my best friends, Darius and Jonathan for being there for me,
I love you two, even if I don't say it
- Thanks Elijah Hennig, you're rad and are going places!
- Thanks to Seere for their impeccable design skills. I've known you for years, and I'm so glad I met you
- Thanks to anybody and everybody who listens!
I know, you've heard it a million times, but truly,
it means so much to me
- Thanks to everyone who loves me
and everyone I love
- Thanks to God, "if he's there"

Some links: Seere: linktr.ee/Seere
Odd-Oblivion: www.facebook.com/theendlessempty/

Many tracks were scrapped, here is the graveyard of titles:
Relapse
The effects of Zoloft, or Sertraline HCl
Minerals/Football

The first two, middle two and final two tracks can be heard in any order. Thank you, take care

credits

released December 15, 2019

Music written and performed by A Shiba
Mixed and mastered by Elijah Hennig
Cover illustrations by Odd-Oblivion
Graphic design by Seere

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Autumn Sounds Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Autumn Sounds is an experimental all genres label based in Pittsburgh doing limited recycled cassette runs. We sometimes also do CDr runs, as well as DVD and VHS releases.
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